Depression..GO AWAY!!

~~Well,i've been ponteng alot of days!!if im not mistaken i think for 3 hari berturut-turut..u know wat..i duno why nowadays i dun feel like studying..i wish time can past so fast and i can juz stop goin to skol..but after i think so long and think so deep..i know that if i dun even have a SPM sijil..i wont have a good future..so i decided to keep on study until i finish my SPM then i finally can do wat i wan to do...this few days..depression has taken over me..there's once i feel like suicide..but i know its a stupid thinking...if suicide really can solve my problems..i guess im already dead by now...so i'll take another alternatives..and i opt to finish wat i have started..i know that maybe my life is really that bored..but it feels like everything doesnt make sense anymore...i guess my depression is really deep that i think it can sinked me..so i dun wana go to skol for these 3 days..to let my mine relax...coz i think if really i heard anything i uncomfortable i scared that i will really do stupid stuff...actually i dun mind suicide since my life is meaningless..but i dun wan my family to mourn my death..and waste money for stuff like funeral...well,at least know i still have God..and he will always be on my side..until the day i go to heaven..lolx..being so emo rite now...im sorry..but i juz cant control it..i feel like a volcano goin to explode...a sea full of water is goin to poured out..but when i cry nothing came out..i thought by crying i can feel better..but instead i feel worst....im so useless..cry aso not even a single tear come out...haiz...i felt like this song.....=( T.T(sobs)

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make itI just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend thatI'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and We can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far awayAnd it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and We can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and We can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and We can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

felt so emo rite now.. but i think im gonna be ok..im a survivor..all these is juz a minor things i go through in my life..i think when in 10 yrs later when i see back these post i will laugh my heart out...but somehow all these are not silly things i felt rite know...either 1 of it can bring me down or make me standing still...there's this quote i duno where i see it but i really like it..."If u can't get rid of them,be friends with them" and also this quote.."If u don't stand for something,you will fall for anything"..sounds familiar rite?actually i saw it at skol....there's alot of quote and motivation message...so i'll think positive and go through all the challenges in my life...u know what i do all these day?i watch movie or dramas..by watching all these show i can relax and won't simply think...at least i know im not the only one go through these phase....haiz...i guess...i wrote alot ady..so i think im gona stop now...btw,Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 2 has came out..so addictive man this show..and somehow quite encouraging...i know my language is vry bad la..with the malaysian slang and all..and grammar error..and lousy peribahasa..haiz...but wat to do im malaysian ma..anywayz,,take care everyone..until i update again...well,i know maybe no one is reading this blog..but i still blog is to express how i felt..so my advice is...if u feel emo like me..juz listen to songs..and sing ur heart out,u will feel much better..after all, no music no life!peace..xoxo...papayasyrup..=.=

Ps:Crying is a better way to release stress..but somehow doesnt work for me...so i opt for music

Finally..updated!!

~~Hey guys!so long dint update ady..well,actually not much ppl visit my blog so i dint update so frequent...and im aso quite bored with blogging ady..well..actually not much to update...my homework=die..and the my studies=remain untouched...so all aso not good so nothing to update..haiz..my relationship=broken...so vry sad la..duno y ody so angry with me...then when i ask she's not telling aso...so in the end i waste all my credit to ask abt her..then i vry sad..so ask carr ine for advice..and she say one word that makes sense.."if that friend is not meant to be then is not meant to be"...so all i can do now is wait and wait...since she dun care abt our friendship..and all she know is to just complain she dun have friend when she's with me..so it means im not her friend la..when she lonely i teman her..then when she's with her friend she act as if im invisible..so fed up with it..i thought best friend supose to sick together..but i guess...only i treat her as best friend..sory..i know my english is not good so forgive me....so..okie..enough with the complaining..the good news is..i get a new hp from my uncle W580i!!for my birthday present...so very thankful for it..then my family aso 'so-called' suprise me for my birthday..and they brought me to karaoke...so quite fun la that time..but no mood so i guess they all quite disapointed aso..but in the end i aso got sing a few song...so at least i dint waste the money la..i tell u the karaoke at k4 damn char le...the service aso vry bad..they all treat me as if im their enemy...not even one staff smile..once i look at them fell like kick their butt...so teruk...apa la..haiz..relax....then..erm....today is Hari Merdeka ke-51..but its feel like normal day...dun why year by year..its like evryone dun have the merdeka spirit..sad la..see the independent day like...especially if those foreign visitor saw..damn memalukan...haiz...and then juz now juz b4 the countdown of merdeka..my family and i playing this game call www.meetoto.com...its abt singing de...so if u wan to practice ur karaoke singing can go visit that website la..its vry funny..hear those ppl singing...and there's aso this wen www.viwawa.com so go check it out both aso no need download..juz register then can play le..i also start watching Gossip Girl!!and i cant wait for second season..its coming out..September 1 i think..so if u all havent watch go watch it..u wont regret nad this is the critic they give to Gossip Girl but they turn it into a comercial add..haha smart

..and im selling this coupon aso..juz cost rm29.90 then can enjoy 1 facial,body slimming and body massage..so who interested contact me la..ok thats all..Selamat Hari Merdeka!!good night everyone!!remember more merdeka spirit!!ciouz...xoxo..papayasyrup

Ps:juz ate cake again..so full=.=

Songs

im back!pls go to this web www.themostnatural.com.my and vote for steven..thanx alot yea...juz sign up and vote...thanx alot..back to blogging...tomoro is larian saujana..so need to wake up early on Saturday..haiz...been forced to come...anywayz,exam coming 21july..omg...havent even prepare..haiz..bicara akademik coming soon..so i guess my parents gonna be vry disapointed in me...stress stress >.<..gonna blow up..haiz..seriously now ody really changed ady or she is like dat...evrytime aso i wait for her...but then when got other ppl then she dun answer me..act like as if im not der...recess aso i come up early to teman her..but now evrytime she come up so late..coz last time she come up early..but i come up late coz at canteen ma..since then i always go up early ady..coz she say vry lonely..now once she got fren she juz neglected me...hope she dint read this..coz then she will say "aiya u juz sensitive la"..then when i tell her abt the rumour aso evrytime she disagree and say some ppl like dat de...find la like dat..today she ask me why i so quiet then i told her why la...like i guess...she juz dun care..then next time i wont tell her ady...mayb coz she's different than other ppl that i know..thats y..but i duno our friendship can last long anot...coz seriously she loves attention but she always denied that..or mayb she was given attention since last time..so tak biasa when sudenly not attention given to her...i told her alot of things she aso deny..haiz...moody now...i add the happy-o-meter thingy ady hehe...so cute..anywayz,i will juz forget abt it..wat done is done....now need to prepare for exam...until i update again...xoxo..~~Your believe is your greatest motivator never let it die~~

Ps:pls vote for him evryday if can...i will be vry thankful!^^

Malaysian Artistes of Unity

Yesterday...i was surfing the net...then suddenly i heard this song on astro...its call "Here In My Home" it was a vry nice song..by Malaysian Artistes of Unity....try listening to it..and see the video on youtube...it was a really nice song..suprisingly by a malaysian...sory..but i duno how to upload video..can somebody teach me?nywayz,i have nothing to do so i post this up..hehe...haiz..i guess our relationship wont be better once its broken..if only u read my blog....haiz...started playing dota ady..really really hard le...im learning now..so im so called"noob"..need people to teach....thats all for today...gtg now..mom rushing...
Ps:juz come back from kfc..yummy....^^

Changes...

Im back!so long dint update this blog ady...well nothing much happen....back to skol...get back my result ady..sucks la...i guess my hope on getting top 10 in class gone ady...besides than that since from the melaka trip..my family member keep saying wan to open a restaurant or shop la to sell the chicken rice ball...i guess it will be vry fun to do the rice and all..nywayz,getting moody day by day...my relationship with my brother getting better^^..i guess...the..but my relationship with my cousin getting worse day by day..financial problem occured again..really frustrating!!well..erm..then melody aso getting crazy day by day..and carr ine getting serious ady...and aso emelia almost everyday sick now..haiz..i guess the whole world is changing to..and got this really nice movie called "The Happening" will be aired on cinema soon...its about global warming..my favourite topic..and recently i miss out on alot of movie..i havent watch Narnia aso..and alot la...the world keep turning round and round..and im getting poor day by day...i guess nobody understand unless there are in my shoe...oh ya..back to the title..the 3K thing...every year my skol will join the competition and make a big fuss about it..so then our skol won ady and get to go participate in the final(duno call what ady)..then today our skol now got fountain ady..and the stupid so-call bird park..i dint noe really got chicken there..i even poked it and i thought its fake..then.. when the sunlight rise i saw the chicken..nywayz,my point is alot of changes for the 3K one..and today the pegawai came to our skol to judge..and when perhimpunan that time..walao..for the 1st time my skol perhimpunan becamo so quiet and all the student necome so kemas...cant believe my eyes..maybe they kena from pengetua ady thats y...and carr ine really smart coz normally the boys wont tuck in their shirt so she call her friends to make sure their bf tuck in the shirt..i guess thats a good thing about having a gf..alot of miracles i saw this few days...and got this new teacher who relief my class..she keep bla bla bla and bla..i guess she's trying to comunicate with us...she's really funny since almost all the boys in my class ponteng ans some of it play basketball down der...then when everybody back in the class..she say very bising instead call them go back down play pula..i was like =.=!! swt la...then the teacher talk about her experience being a student and ponteng to shopping mall...sawt betul la..but she's vry friendly la..and not fierce i guess alot of student will like her also..but still Cik Hong is still the most popular teacher in my class..duno la...then...err...i play alot...really so boring everyday aso at skol...really dun feel like studying..i think im having a really bad luck year this year..even my family...haiz..every year aso got ppl die...this year my 'gu po' die...and my grandfather i look at him aso i have phobia ady..being so blured and all..if me i will choose to die earlier..at least i wont suffer like him...every time terkencing and all...being old is really have alot of advantage and disadvantage....hmm...i guess everthing change now..alll the fesyen,story,politics,movies,and games...only history wont change..so from today on,im not gonna regret for what i do in past..but instead keep moving on and work hard for my future...this recently duno why..im reallly interested in politics maybe coz its been ages since i read a newspaper..i guess i rally change alot to..only got one ppl in my skol dint change.."Sen Siang"..i duno whether its a good thing or bad thing..u tell me.....i need to plan for my future..since i know i will be doing badly in SPM...so whats the point...currently i browse through some blogs and found this painting by Mark Ryden..and my long lost found favourite pictures...thats alll for today

Ps:REALLY dun feel like studying anymore =.= love the paintings...^^

~~Holiday~~

This should been updated so long ago...so here's the good news...school holiday start ady..we got 2 weeks time to enjoy..and the bad news is..im so bored rite now...i wondering what can i do during school holiday..so i decided to follow my uncle to go melaka...since dint go there before...wow..melaka building is really vry colourful...so ya..now im at melaka..the weather here..same like kl..vry hot..oh ya...another bad news is...my "gu po" pass away ady..=(...so..i think on sat or sunday i go her house for the ceremony...but..everybody is not vry sad...i mean..of coz feel sad la...but dint cry like my uncle pass away that time...because everyone are ready already...so i guess its a good things...since my gu po will be happy seeing everyone feel ok la..btw,my exam pass ady..so feel vry 'song' ady la..CAN RELAX NOW..^^..buti dun think i can get good result this time..coz my result really bad...so i guess...my name wont be included in top 10 class list..then..back to the topic...about melaka...like i said the building vry 'bersejarah' and all those building canot rebuild..so vry old ady lo..and finally i saw the Redhouse ady...whole role of it aso red colour building...fascinating...hehe.....then...alot of ship at der..and the street all the sign der vry ancient...and alot more la...got this famous chicken rice ball,actually we all plan to buy but then too many ppl ady..the whole shop full with ppl..so dint buy lo..theh after that go back to seremban second time to help out for the praying thingy ceremony..then go back melaka...im so sick of highway now..we've been going back and forth between seremban and melaka...quite an experience...thats the routine for 1st day..today is the second day..morning until now aso at home..looking out for the kids and watching tv..quite frustrating...omg..i don't think i will got baby next time..scary man...so far okok la...got happy and unhappy moment..playing board games and all...oh ya,btw at my uncle house now..msn aso canot sign in haiz...really bored le...headache headache...haiz...thats it for now..i will update again later...
Ps:i miss skol=.=